Having Trouble Finishing My Thoughts

I’ve been “drafting” a number of potential blog posts lately, for a few different reasons. The obvious reason is that firstly, I haven’t finished them, but there are also other factors that I need to consider before I push publish.

When I started a blog, I wrote completely off the cuff with little or no editing. I just got my ideas out there and often noticed little grammar errors or even problems with my order and sequencing.  I did follow a few other blogs and those people mentioned having a friend help or edit before publishing, I need to look into that. (This entry I’m going back to basics and just writing as it comes, little editing, as I tend to say the best things when I just let go) I have also published some things that maybe went too far and had to have someone point out that perhaps I need to reign it back in.

I wonder how many potential bloggers are out there, but sometimes have to tone down or mask their true feelings or intentions for some fear of consequences? I mean my ideas are not completely radical or hateful, but I often fear negative feedback and criticism.  I also read story after story of people who make their case known and put themselves in jeopardy of online bullying or mocking.  What if some of his/her practices could be frowned upon by superiors and put his job at risk? Retribution, mockery, and lifestyle changes can be strong motivators in curbing one’s voice. Unfortunately.

For me, most of my topics applied to me and often my opinion. Writing a review of an app is easy enough, or my class routines, or personal learning and growth don’t exactly make waves.  What I’ve wanted to do is branch out a bit, but dabbling outside my opinion has stifled me a bit.  I want to advocate to my students to be “risk takers” but for myself I’m taking calculated risks. It’s not always the same.

It’s probably laughable the topics I think I haven’t fully developed and am not ready to publish for some fear of my opinion being ripped apart, which aren’t even really “dangerous” or “risky” ideas. Some of my drafts include : why every teacher should teach at least one year of special education, my love /hate relationship with Twitter, why it’s ok to not finish the curriculum, paying attention to teacher mental health.

So again, here is an entry that doesn’t address everything I wanted when I started, because I begin a point, then decide to explore something else. Also, I don’t want to be fired. And once I hit publish, it’s out there, even if I hide it, delete it, limit its viewers or try to pretend it doesn’t exist. I’ve have thoroughly enjoyed blogging, sometimes I love the fact that someone reads it, sometimes I completely fear it. Overall, blogging has been a good experience and hopefully one day I’ll write with complete abandon. For now, draft is answer.

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